Crossroads or Crisis?

I’m restless…and I’m not sure why.  Life is good.  The painting business is running smoothly – even in this economy – work is going very well – just got back from Pubcon and was asked to speak at SES Chicago.  I’m happy with what I know and the growth and knowledge I’m gaining – I’m impatient so the process is slow – but I’m not discouraged.

My workplace is frustrating – but not to the point that I’m ready to chuck it all in.  I mean – for the right deal – who knows, But right now – I’m happy with what I’m doing and where I’m going.

The kids are kids – and hubby is a hubby – joys and frustrations every day – but that’s pretty normal from what I’ve seen.

So why am I restless?  I feel like there’s an adventure around the corner that I’m missing out on.  Is it because I was married with children so young?  Did i miss out on some grand adventure by starting my life earlier than my friends have?  I figure my kids will be out of the house before I’m 50 – so i’ll have money, comfort and time to find that grand thing that piques my interest then.

In the mean time – how do you cope?  I’m going through the motions – but i’m not really living.  Wow that sounds like some corny movie line – but I sort of relate.  I watch movies and want to be the adventurer or the love interest…I read books and dont want them to end – and then I’m sad when they do. 

I could try harder to find a hobby and stop living my life by the glow of a screen.  I’ve searched for that thing that makes me complete – yoga, writing, shopping, exercise (yuk), reading, cooking – which I LOVE – but with cooking comes eating – and that leads to a whole other set of problems (i think I mentioned how much of a weight watchers flunkie I am.)

I just read through this post – and I think I used the words “I” and “My” about a hundred times.  Maybe that’s my problem – am I selfish?  I coordinate and contribute to charity – I am available for my friends and family whenever they need me – but maybe that’s not enough.

I need to work on my motives maybe.  My pet charity is the Heifter Project.  They give livestock to people who are starving in 3rd world countries.  They teach them to care for the animal(s) and as a condition they need to pass on the first offspring to someone else in the village….a way to pay it forward….maybe I could do more.

Mine is a life that is a work in progress - That must be what life is – a work in progress?