My Irrational Fear of Snakes…..

My dog just found a gopher snake in our back yard. This isnt blogworthy unless you completely understand my PHOBIA over snakes. I cant touch magazine photos, open emails, watch tv programs or even hear snakes hissing without going “jump around the room/wilderness and freak out waving my arms like an idiot hysterical.”

My husband just went to dispose of said snake, he’s not allowed to tell me where he put it – but i’m pretty sure he put it on the other side of the fence, which is just wire – so the snake can come back. The result of his laziness is that I will not be venturing into the back yard for a good month…maybe more.

Here’s a funny story to illustrate my irrational fear of snakes. We (hubby, kids, me) were camping a few years ago and had a very nice weekend up near Ruedi Reservoir near Aspen, CO area. We were packing up to go and as we hauled out of the campground, I walked to the dumpster to throw our trash away. I dump the bag and turn around and there is a snake between myself – and the truck and safety. THis snake was so small it could have been a piece of very VERY thin rope…and about 5 inches long – MAX. I start freaking out and jumping around like an idiot – scaring Mr. Snake…who slithers under the truck. I run towards the truck – thinking I’ll climb in the bed, then crawl through the window to safety when Mr. Snake heads towards the back of the truck – underneath it. My husband takes a break from laughing so hard he’s about to pee his pants to jump out and grab said snake by the tire….at which point I’m looking for a bushy stick – because that’s what the Crocodile Hunter does when confrnoted with a scary and dangerous creature. My kids are about to pass out from laughing at this point.

Hubby grabs the snake – it bites him and i loose it – screaming about first aid kits and the fact we’re 2 hours from the hospital. At this point in time i find out Mr. Snake is so small – his little teeth cant even break the skin…so hubby wont die a slow death from cellular poisoning. After being yelled at and almost smacked in order to get me in the truck – hubby succeeds in getting me into the truck – and letting the little snake go….

…..I’ve never been back to that campground – and dont have any desire to go again.